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How to Know When You Are in an Unhealthy Relationship

“Seasons change. Change is good.”

Who seeks to be in an unhealthy relationship?  No one does!  An unhealthy relationship can hamper your personal growth, isolate you from friends and family, and just negatively affect your quality of life.  While in an unhealthy relationship, you likely will be making choices to do things that are not favorable. This kind of relationship can cause a tremendous amount of stress.  It is a burden that weighs heavily on you.

Although there are a number of things that can be done to prevent being in an unhealthy relationship, it can become our reality. Here are some pretty good indicators that you are in an unhealthy relationship:


Being truthful with your mate is essential for a good relationship. Honesty can be shown and should be reflected in your words as well as your actions. Sometimes in relationships, people tell untruths to their mates (or potential mates) in an effort to manipulate and get a desired result.   Being honest in a relationship allows you and your mate to make decisions based on what is real. 

 Lack of trust

Lack of trust in a relationship is something that can develop as a result of constant dishonesty.  But what happens when your mate lacks trust in you from the start, for no apparent reason?  Trust issues can be carried around (“baggage”) from one relationship to another.  For example, you may not trust him because you were treated badly in another relationship. Lack of trust in another sometimes stem from low self confidence.

 Controlling and possessive nature

Does your mate regularly make decisions for you about where you can go and what you can do?  Does he require you to check in with him before making decisions about what to wear or who to spend time with? If so, this is a very strong indicator of being in an unhealthy relationship.

Social isolation

Having a controlling and possessive nature can lead to social isolation.  Are you avoiding friends and family?  Are you hiding from them what is really going on in your relationship?  Social isolation may occur because you’re ashamed of what is happening with your mate.  Isolation may also occur as a directive from your mate.  He may only want you to himself, avoiding any influence of anyone else – or preventing you from reaching out to someone.

 Verbal /physical abuse

Abuse is never good.  Having respect for another involves treating that person the way that you want to be treated.  Verbal abuse is demeaning, hurtful and can cause scars that last.  If you or anyone you know is experiencing physical abuse, please tell someone.  Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

 Remember to listen to what your gut is telling you about your relationship.  If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, take pause.  Take some time to think things through.  Reach out to someone who can be objective with you and who is concerned about your best interest and well being.  Feel free to leave a comment and email me for consultation ( I’d love to hear from you!

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